Control

So those of you who know me well, and even some who do not know me so well, know I am a control freak.  I like to be in charge, know what is going on, and be in on making the decisions.  This can be challenging at times, especially with 3 little ones, a husband living 6 hours away, and single parenting during the week.  I feel like I am managing it all very well during the week, but it can be very challenging.  Some days are more stressful than others, though I am pretty sure I bring that upon myself alot of times. 

For those of you not following what I am saying here it is, "My name is Becca Johnston and I am a control freak."  For as long as I can remember I have loved to be in control.  I want things to be perfect.  Why let others do it if you are just going to have to re-do it so it is "perfect"?  I have taken many personality tests only to find out what I know, I am an extrovert who is a Type A personality.  I want to be in control! I need to be in control!

When I was in elementary school (before we typed papers - gasp) we would "long-hand" assignments.  My assignments needed to be perfect.  I would usually use pencil on a "rough draft", though I never handed in the rough draft, and then re-write it in pen so it was perfect.  I would even start over on the rough draft if there was an error and I couldn't erase it to my liking!  Yes, I was that anal.  Sometimes I wish I still was like that with certain things.  Though, it is probably a good thing I am not! 

As I got older, I liked to be the planner.  I planned birthday parties for my friends....once we did a video scavenger hunt.  I had to be meticulous in my planning, down to the minute of where we were going to be  because other friends were dropping off the clues ahead of us and other friends were meeting up with us (pre everyone having cell phones).  I loved it...I loved being in control.

Even with my kids births I had some control.  I knew what day they were going to be born on.  I was careful in picking the day, I wanted things to be perfect for my new little one coming into this world.  I know, that no matter what else happened on that day, I always welcomed my perfect little baby!

I still love to plan and I carry my planner with me everywhere.  I have my days and weeks planned out ahead of time, sometimes 3-4 months out, at least.  When one summer vacation is over, I like to start planning the next one.  I don't want to miss out on something fun and exciting!

Being a control freak or Type A personality definitely is challenging.  I don't want to change it for the world, because it is who I am.  So, instead of changing me I just make adjustments and move forward.  I bury myself in other things to keep my mind off that which I cannot control. 

But I will always remember, "My name is Becca Johnston and I am a control freak!"